I've decided to get a pet.
A real pet, like a dog or cat.
I've had plenty of those fabricated kind like fish, snakes and turtles.
Don't get me wrong, I like those kind too, but they really don't qualify as legitimate pets.
For example, I once had some goldfish, even had names for two of them, George and Herm.
I used to think that George, the bigger one, sort of liked me because every time I walked by the tank he would get all excited and swim back and forth and up to the top of the tank.
Then I read an article that mentioned that goldfish only had a memory span of three seconds so I figured out that he really wasn't happy to see me, but had probably forgotten the last night he ate, and thought it was time to eat again.
Anyway, I had George for a few years until one night when feeding them, I forgot to put the lid down, and George, always aggressive when he came to eating, must have come up from the bottom and shot himself right out of the tank.
I found him the next day on the floor.
Snakes on the other hand, just sort of hang out waiting for a rat to magically appear in their aquarium.
I used to feel bad about that.
Carol was the one who had the task of putting on the black hood and grabbing one and throwing it in the tank.
It no doubt had to do a number on the remaining rat's psyche never knowing when their number would be up, but knowing that there was one less rat there then there was earlier.
Not that I was a big snake person.
The only reason that we had one was because we had adopted it from my brother Dave, who was the kind of person who's picture you would see in the pet store with the warning; 'Do not under any circumstances sell a pet to this person'.
Turtles God love them, never seem to change their expression.
They always have the same dumb look, sort of like some people I know.
When I think of turtles, I think of the character Tutor the Turtle and Mister Wizard.
Now there was a turtle that wanted to go places, but always wound up in a jackpot.
Real life turtles don't go anywhere, and the only pot that they wind up in is a soup pot.
This time I want to get a real pet! I grew up with both dogs and cats, and they both have their pros and cons.
Dogs need more attention, and have to be taken out from time to time, whereas cats are pretty much content to hang out, and sleep 20 hours a day.
Dogs are always happy to see you, whereas cats could care less.
They act as if they're doing you a favor by letting you near them.
I myself prefer male dogs but I've been told that females make better pets when they've been fixed.
Male cats on the other hand seem to make better pets.
I've had male cats all my life, and all seem to be pretty affectionate.
My favorite, Benny, was a stray that wound up staying with us for nearly 17 years.
He and I used to play hide and seek and other games.
In some ways, he was more like a dog than a cat.
He and I would go round and round from time to time, but neither one of us held a grudge.
I would sometimes mess with him a little bit too much when he was trying to get his 18 or so hours of sleep and he would let me know when enough was enough by giving me a good rap with his paws.
I've had some good dogs as well.
Boots was a mutt that was a mix between a Lab and who knows what? He was always up for a good run.
As he got older, he lost his hearing.
We used to think he was ignoring us, but in reality he couldn't hear.
We had used some Pavlov's conditioning on him when he was younger.
Whenever he did something he shouldn't, like stealing a sandwich, we would ring the timer on the stove numerous times and this would chase him upstairs.
After a while all we had to do was go "ding, ding, ding" and he would put his head down and slowly walk up the steps.
He also lived a good long life, and was buried with honors.
Yes, I've had pets of all types.
I've enjoyed them all, and feel somewhat privileged to have them in my life.
They have definitely enriched my life, and on that I'm sure any cat would agree.